Why Is Love Marriage Better Than Arranged?
Nowadays, although many people marry because of love, numerous marriages are decided through arrangements between two families. Traditional families prefer arranged marriages that continue their customs and ensure that parents are choosing the ones who would be most beneficial not only to their children’s well-being but their family’s future welfare as well. Despite the strength of cultural norms, love marriage is becoming increasingly popular even in conservative circles. Love marriage is better than an arranged one because you are marrying someone you already know thereby increasing the chances of happiness in the relationship, avoid the dowry that usually comes with arranged marriages, and preserve free will.
Love marriage is superior to an arranged counterpart as it is based on marrying someone familiar, thereby decreasing the risk of failed relationships. In an arranged marriage, couples may rarely see each other and have little to no time of knowing one another’s personalities. As a result, when they get married, they find few shared interests with some even having conflicts in values about marriage and raising a family. Consequently, these couples tend to fight often, or, in many cases, if the wife submits to the will of the husband, she finds herself dissatisfied and disempowered, losing both her identity and happiness. The problems of marital dissatisfaction and irreconcilable differences can be reduced in love marriages wherein couples who have been dating for a long time already know each other, including their strengths and flaws. They can subsequently decide if they can live with their differences and are willing to adapt to each other’s weaknesses. Hence, love marriage is a marriage between two people who know their spouse well enough to avoid the difficulties of getting stuck with someone they do not even like.
Love marriage also removes the dowry issue that is common to arranged marriages. Whether the family is poor or rich, arranged marriages typically include the family of the bride paying a large dowry to the family of the groom. Dowry is prominent in China, India, and African countries, among other nations. Also, many times, the groom’s family may even demand certain amounts or goods, thereby creating financial problems and stress for the side of the bride. On the opposite, love marriage eliminates the dowry because all that matters is the consensual decision to marry plus the parents would hopefully accept the marriage proposal and give their blessing. Love marriage has simple terms with no economic demands.
Finally, love marriage is better than an arranged marriage because it promotes free will. In an arranged marriage, it is not impossible for the bride, groom, or both to have no say in the decision. Their parents or families decide for them, overlooking their ability to decide for something as major and life-changing as marriage. On the contrary, love marriage is solely based on independent decisions. The couple must choose to marry each other; no one can influence or force them to marry anyone else. As a result, they make an independent and conscious decision, thereby increasing the chance as well that they have thought hard about their options. With an arranged marriage, free will becomes secondary to the collective decisions of parents or dominant decision-makers. Hence, for people who want to remain autonomous, they are better off with a love marriage wherein they decide who to marry and love for the rest of their lives.
An arranged marriage is mostly about the maintenance of old customs and the respect provided to the elders, beliefs that are not prioritized when people marry for love alone. A love marriage is better than an arranged marriage as it heightens the success of the relationship when two people know each other well enough to remain dedicated for the duration of their marriage, removes the dowry, and supports independence. While marriage by arrangement will continue in conservative cultures, love marriages will also prosper for couples who value their free will and marry only those whom they know not only by name but by their heart.